Fiyero Is a Porn Star, Kristin Chenoweth Has Tiny Fans & Other Lessons of the Week

The Tony Awards are getting closer and the gossip is getting juicier. As another week on Broadway comes to a close, we look back on one Wicked hunk's "porn" past, one Tony nominee’s uncanny ability to be loved, an unlikely dream date and the network that broke Broadway’s heart. Read on for all of these stories and more.

Patti LuPone Gets One Step Closer to Hocus Pocus
Despite Ryan Murphy never name-checking us on Glee, we know he's a Broadway.com devotee because now he's aping our casting ideas. Last fall we picked two-time Tony winner Patti LuPone to play wicked witch Winifred Sanderson in a fantasy Broadway production of Hocus Pocus. Now there's news that Murphy recruited LuPone to join American Horror Story as…you guessed it, a witch! It’s fine, Ryan. Take Patti. Just please promise that she will perform “I Put a Spell On You” a la “The Name Game.”

Jonathan Groff Might Be the Gay Lena Dunham
In other TV news, Jonathan Groff is heading to HBO in the as-yet-untitled new show (let's call it "Boys") about a trio of friends living in San Francisco and navigating the gay scene there. Early buzz pegs the show as something between Queer as Folk and Girls, making Groff the show’s Lena Dunham. Here’s hoping Groff doesn’t adopt any of Dunham’s shorteralls or OCD Q-tip habits, and that he does include naked ping-pong, bedroom dance parties and bathtub cupcake binges. Sound like a deal, Jon?

The Tony Awards Has a Top Cop
What happens when a Tony nominee breaks the rules during awards season? You call the police. The Tony police. Yes, the awards have muscle, and her name is Jean Kroeper Murphy. We learned this week that it's Jean’s job to make sure that no show has an unfair advantage during Tony time. No word yet on if Officer Kroeper Murphy carries a badge or a water pistol, or if those under Tony arrest go straight to Tony jail, where they are haunted by the snubs of Tonys past. Jokes aside, thanks for keeping us safe, officer. Oh, and we loved your work in The Anarchist.

Will Chase Wants to Be Seduced by Mrs. Robinson
First-time Tony nominee Will Chase doesn’t want some hot young (or evern youngish) piece on his arm as he walks the red carpet at Radio City on the big night. No, the The Mystery of Edwin Drood star would much prefer a lady who has been around the block…like Mrs. Robinson. Chase confessed to Broadway.com that the late Anne Bancroft, who played The Graduate icon and Hollywood’s original cougar, would be his ideal Tony night date. #ThingsDebraMessingIsNotOkayWith #OrMelBrooks #AlsoWTF

Broadway Stardom Is a Punishing Sweatshop
Don’t be fooled by the glamour of opening night gowns, fawning fans or the star-studded bashes, Broadway is apparently a factory. I’ll Eat You Last star Bette Midler learned the hard way. When she called Broadway mainstay Nathan Lane for advice about returning to the Main Stem, the Nance star laid out the rigors of the Broadway grind. “What is this a sweatshop in Haiti?” the Divine Miss M asked. We haven’t been to many Haitian sweatshops, but do they also work two hours a day, ring a bell for drug and booze delivery and take a bow afterward? Didn't think so.  

NBC Lost Its Loving Feeling for Broadway
For a while this year, it felt like Broadway was just funneling talent over to NBC’s primetime lineup, and it was great seeing familiar faces on our TV screens. Then BAM! The peacock pulled the plug on Smash, The New Normal, Deception, Go On and more leaving five Tony winners and five Tony nominees out of a job. Luckily for these actors, summertime on Broadway is practically the equivalent of pilot season. So get yourself in a reading or workshop and hurry back to us! And as for NBC, we can't talk to you right now. #wereintech

Kristin Chenoweth Is Queen of the Orphans
If you only look at one photo today, make it the exclusive pic of the Annie orphans reacting to a surprise backstage visit by Tony winner Kristin Chenoweth. Yes, Jane Lynch’s opening night the Palace Theatre was crawling with Glee stars (including cutie Darren Criss), but these little girls were most psyched to see La Cheno live. If a picture is worth a thousand words, this one is worth 8,000 (a thousand for each orphan’s face). Congrats, Kristin! Looks like your target demographic is 4’5" and under.

Cristin Milioti Is the Ultimate Catch
TV fans are always a little late to the game. Broadway’s love affair with Once Tony nominee Cristin Milioti began back in 2011, when she was just a girl behind the piano making googly eyes at Steve Kazee. Now, she has been cast as Ted Mosby’s wife on How I Met Your Mother, a character designed to be loved, and TV audiences are already going crazy. We look forward to watching them fall for Cristin and her obsession with birds, RuPaul, kittens, John Irving and Muppets. How could you not?

John Stamos Is a Lucky Guy Groupie
Stage and screen star John Stamos is just like us. He enjoys a night at the theater, and if he likes what he sees, he’ll go back…and go back again…and again…and again. Lucky Guy Tony nominee Courtney B. Vance outed Stamos’ affinity for the Nora Ephron drama saying, “John Stamos just loves the play. I think it was his second or third time seeing it.” John, be careful here. This kind of obsession starts innocently enough with just a few visits and then quickly spirals into a tattoo of Stephanie J. Block on your back.

Kyle Dean Massey Dabbles in Old-Fashioned Porn
Kyle Dean Massey isn’t afraid to show a little skin (exhibit A and B), but who would have guessed the Wicked hunk and former Broadway.com video blogger has a "porn" credit? And not just any adult film, but an old-timey, black-and-white, silent movie-era flick. Broadway's Fiyero enjoyed a featured role in Amy Schumer’s porn spoof A Porn Star is Born as the male handyman who gets more than he bargained for. “What Is This Feeling?” indeed.