Patti LuPone Haunted a Laundromat, Bradley Cooper Wants to Strip Down & More Lessons of the Week

Guys, we’re finally defrosting from the polar vortex (even though the nation still seems pretty Frozen), but it’s time to get focused on the lessons we’ve learned this week on Broadway! From discovering that Patti LuPone's ghost does her own laundry to Bradley Cooper getting less than picture perfect on stage, check out all the fascinating tidbits we’ve taken from the week's headlines.

Broadway Wants to Make Us Ugly Cry
Watching tearjerkers in your PJs with tissue bits stuck in your eyelashes is totally acceptable in the comfort of your own crumb-filled Snuggie, but now that Beaches is hitting the stage, get ready to sob uncontrollably in public. And don’t even get us started on The Bridges of Madison County! We know being sad means you absolutely need chocolate, but cool it with the Snowcaps at the theater. Smeared mascara and chocolate mouth? Not sexy. 

You Can’t Hide From the Internet
Remember the video you made with your neighbor of your two-person production of Les Miz (in costume) and your dog played Gavroche? Sorry, but it’s probably on the Internet somewhere. Patti LuPone learned this lesson the hard way when a 1980s operetta featuring her performance as a laundromat-haunting ghost surfaced. Patti being Patti, of course, killed it. Her mullet, however, is the true star.

Jarrod Spector Needs Time Travel to Play Strip Poker
We don’t need to leave the 21st century to choose who we’d love to play strip poker with—hello, Jonathan Groff’s Out 100 pics! But when we asked Jarrod Spector that question on opening night of Beautiful (inspired by a scene in the show), he diplomatically chose Marilyn Monroe. It seems Broadway's sexiest man doesn't want to upset fiancée Kelli Barrett by taking it off (theoretically) with someone from the present. What a gentleman!

Idina’s Stylist Doesn’t Work on Sundays
Idina, we love you. You’re so beautiful, it makes us totally jealous. But we've gotta ask: What were you wearing at The Lion King last week? It's fun to get all safari-chic for the show, but Disney should’ve told you there was gonna be a photo sesh, because…were those jammies? Somehow amidst all the camo, combat boots and bedhead, you still looked gorgeous. (P.S. We need your skin routine—PM us @broadwaycom, thnx)

Bobby Lopez Could Be an EGOT Winner
Let it gooooooooo, let it gooOOOooo—oh. Heyyyy. You’re still here. Sorry, but we just can’t stop singing Frozen’s Oscar-nominated and soon to be Broadway hit (neither can every kid in the world). Well, it makes sense, because it was composed by Emmy/Grammy/Tony winner Bobby Lopez (ya know, co-creator of  Avenue Q and The Book of Mormon.) We're on your side for the Oscars, Bobby! And fingers crossed for Idina! (Until then, we'll be watching toddlers belt on YouTube.)

Pumpkin Pillow Thingies Bond Princesses
We don’t really know what that pumpkin thing was they were holding (fan gift? stage prop?), but Cinderella’s Broadway princesses Laura Osnes and Carly Rae Jepsen were having a royal ball with it! The two cuties were captured hanging in Laura’s (soon to be Carly’s) dressing room looking like Stewart/McKellen-style besties. Also: Squigs, score! You landed on Laura’s wall! Three times
Punxsutawney Phil Can Dance
Um, Punxsutawney Phil is the cutest little guy ever (specifically if he doesn’t see his shadow—come on, spring!), but he might be amping up the "aww" factor in an all-singing, all-dancing Groundhog Day musical. At least composer Tim Minchin hopes so. After seeing Matilda, we know the kind of awesome imagination Minchin has, and we’re hoping his new stage adaptation will feature Phil Connors (Bill Murray in the movie) with a Minchin/Matilda hairstyle.

If You Dream a Dream, It Could Come True
Can’t you just imagine little baby Ramin Karimloo belting out "Castle on a Cloud" (babies' vocal ranges can’t hit "Bring Him Home," duh) and wishing he could meet Jean Valjean? Well, Ramin’s voice dropped, and he got to not only meet, but duet with his idol and Les Miz’s original Valjean Colm Wilkinson on stage in Toronto. Wow. Dreams really do come true!

Lena Hall Rocking a Mustache Was Foreshadowing
Lena, Lena, Lena—you fooled us. We should have known your mustachioed Instagram pic from November was totally foreshadowing your cross-dressing role in Hedwig and the Angry Inch! We’re so excited to see you as a rock dude! Now excuse us while we scour your social media accounts for any hints you may have left about future roles. Wait… Awesome '80s Prom?

Bradley Cooper Will Bare His Soul On Stage 
A moment of silence please, for the beauty that is Bradley Cooper. We all know how in demand this hottie is. He can do anything, but our Bradley chose to take on The Elephant Man, which is one of the most physically demanding stage roles. The Oscar nominee is ready to strip down and dig deep to do this exhausting part night after night, instead of relaxing in Hollywood. We love it, and it doesn't hurt that he'll be shirtless.