Mother’s Day is just around the corner—what, you didn’t buy a card for your mom yet? There’s still time, go out and get one right now! We’ll wait. Anyway, where were we? Oh right, Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and in addition to honoring our biological moms on May 11, we can't forget to celebrate our honorary moms, too: The mothers in our favorite Broadway shows. From the tough-but-fair Madame Giry from The Phantom of the Opera to the downright crazypants Mrs. Wormwood in Matilda, we’ve ranked 11 matriarchs currently on Broadway, from the ones we’d love to have as moms to the ones we’d never want to be in the same room with. See how the mommies of the Great White Way scored below.
1. Madame Giry from The Phantom of the Opera
She’s not the warmest, cuddliest mom on the list (in fact, she's kind of terrifying), but she’s got a steady job and she can get you into all the shows at the Opera Populaire for free!
2. Lena Younger from A Raisin in the Sun
No matter what, Lena is a hard-working mom who will put food on the table and provide for her family. But whatever you do, don’t denounce God in her house or touch the plant on her windowsill.
3. Liz from If/Then
She seems like a kind, loving mom, but we never get to see her parenting skills in action. Without spoiling the plot, let’s just say Liz is preoccupied with a bunch of other stuff and spends a lot of time crying.
4. Fantine from Les Miserables
Speaking of crying, Fantine would sell her hair (and uh, her body) for you. That’s dedication. She should have done a more extensive background check on those Thenardiers, though.
5. Donna Sheridan from Mamma Mia!
Bravo to Donna for raising Sophie all on her own, but did she really think she could avoid the “I have no idea who your dad is” talk with Sophie forever? That’s just ridiculous.
6. Catherine from Pippin
There's lots of space to run around and play at Catherine's farm, but let's face it—she's way too busy rolling in the hay with Pippin to help you with your homework.
7. Genie Klein from Beautiful
This momma only wants what's best for young Carole, but if it were up to Genie, her daughter would be toiling away in some library, not winning Grammys.
8. Francesca from The Bridges of Madison County
Yes, Francesca is having a crisis, and yes, maybe her annoying kids deserve it. But would you really want your mom sleeping with every random photographer who blows into town?
9. Katharine from Mothers and Sons
When we die, we really, really don't want our mom going around to our ex's house, overstaying her welcome and eating all his Oreos. Call us crazy, but we just don't.
10. Mrs. Wormwood from Matilda
This mum is a fabulous dancer, but unless you want to sit around the house like a blob watching telly all day, there's no way to get on her good side. Get out while you can.
11. Madame from Cinderella
She has a great sense of style (come on, that feather headpiece is gorgeous), but that's the only redeeming quality about Madame. Run! Run now!!!