Neil Patrick Harris Crushed Our Tony Dreams, Miss Piggy Is a Broadway Sex Goddess & More Lessons of the Week

It’s Friday, and there’s nothing like hitting the town curling up on the couch and catching up on the craziest Broadway news of the week! We learned a lot of weird stuff about Sutton Foster, Kristin Chenoweth, Darren Criss and more of our favorite stars over the last few days. But don’t take our word for it—check ‘em out below.

Sutton Foster Is a Rap Superstar
Tony winner Sutton Foster is great at belting, tap dancing, makeovers and makeunders, but did you know she’s also got street cred? The Younger star said she’d love to appear in a hip-hop musical by Lin-Manuel Miranda and even gave us a few bars of In the Heights to prove it. No me diga!

David Burtka Sees Dead People
If you asked us what It Shoulda Been You is like, we might say it’s kinda like My Best Friend’s Wedding, but way crazier. David Burtka, on the other hand, says it’s more like The Sixth Sense. Oh right, we forgot about that scene when Room Sheep glides in on her scooter and announces David Burtka is a ghost. Baa.

NPH Won’t Suit Up For the Tonys
More news from the Burtka-Harris household—sadly, after hosting the Tony Awards four times, Neil Patrick Harris told Broadway.com he will not be hosting the Tony ceremony this year, and he'd rather devote the time to developing his new variety show. No Tony rap? No Mormon outfit? No car wash!? Sigh.

Everyone Wants to Shag Miss Piggy
When we hit the red carpet on opening night of Hand to God to ask stars which puppet they’d like to have sex with, they were surprisingly forthcoming with their answers. Oddly, Justin Bartha, Reed Birney, Patrick Page and Robert Askins all chose Miss Piggy as their puppet crush. Watch out, Kermie.

Kristin Chenoweth Is an Evian Diva
According to her dresser Maureen Leshley, On the Twentieth Century star Kristin Chenoweth is extremely lovely, sweet and fun to work with. She’s only “cray cray” about two things: Using the term “cray cray” and her water bottles. Kristin dearest, you got it—from now on, no plastic water bottles EVER!

Darren Criss STILL Has a Beard
Even though his promo photos would suggest otherwise, it seems Darren Criss has misplaced his razor. The new Hedwig star is in the throes of rehearsal, but at the Finding Neverland opening, we noticed he’s still hanging out to his scraggly beard. Hey Darren, do you have xyrophobia or something? Why don’t you come over to Broadway.com HQ and shave it on Live at Five? We have peanut butter cups.

Throw Your Shoes at Gloria Estefan
On Your Feet! co-creator Gloria Estefan hopes audience members have so much fun at her new musical that they throw their shoes up in the air and do that conga in the aisles. That sounds so fun! Well, as long as it’s not these shoes.

Santino’s Hanging on the Block With Jenny
Tony nominee Santino Fontana is about to become a TV star! The Cinderella and Frozen favorite will play a cop opposite Jennifer Lopez in the new NBC drama Shades of Blue. Hey Santino, wasn’t J-Lo your childhood crush? Oh wait, no, it was waffles. Our mistake. Well, maybe one day you can do an Eggo commercial.

Kelli Barrett Wants a B'way Threesome
Doctor Zhivago stars Tam Mutu and Kelli Barrett have two very different ideas about what should happen in a dinner party between the Phantom, Javert and Zhivago. Tam thinks they should have a nice Bordeaux or perhaps a Barolo. Kelli thinks they should all make out. #TeamKelli.

Don’t Invite Megan Hilty to Your Wedding
On opening night of wedding-themed musical It Shoulda Been You, we asked Megan Hilty and her husband Brian Gallagher if they brought a gift to the nuptials. They shrugged, said they got married in Vegas and they’re “those guests.” Not even a $5.95 plastic colander? Not even Wicked napkin rings?! We can’t take you guys anywhere.