Do you believe in ghosts?
Do you see dead people?
Are you a hopeless romantic?
Perhaps you're a fan of Ron Jeremy?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I've got the show for you!
The Woman in White is a new musical, based on a classic novel, far too long for me to read. From what I gather, it tells a romantic and thrilling tale of a group of people with accents running around Victorian England.
I play Walter Hartright. He's roughly 6'2, long brown hair and a voice that only Harvey Fierstein would envy. Most of my best work is left in the wings, but if you asked the crew they'd likely deny it. It's the first show I've done in this country since I was deported on treason from my native Canada for trying to tap maple syrup from a hockey stick. It's been three years since I last disappointed New York audiences and much here has changed. ABBA has once again become a box office sensation, the Beach Boys and Boy George took reluctant curtain calls and both Elvis and John Lennon have rolled over in their respective resting places.
It seems to me that an original score has now become an original idea. What's that, you say? This show isn't based on a blockbuster movie I've already seen? I don't already have the cast recording on various eight-track tapes in my parents' basement? Well, not this show. It's an original score with a groundbreaking and original design and even features some of the original cast members from the original London production myself excluded.
This talented cast is lead by Maria Friedman, who makes a Tony-worthy Broadway debut as Marian and a devilishly charming Michael Ball, who is so ashamed of his dimples he is forced to wear a prosthetic face that makes him look like 1970s movie star Ron Jeremy if you don't know his work, look it up. It's worth the rental. These two powerhouse performers are not only lovely people to work with but fine examples of personal hygiene.
A mysterious man in denim directs the production. His name escapes me but someone once said he knew the guy that directed Les Miz and ran the RSC. Newcomer and lover of felines, Andy Lloyd Webber, composed the music. I see a bright future for this young prodigy. There are some really catchy tunes in this show, and I look forward to hearing what he comes up with in the future. Under the musical direction of a very patient Simon Lee, I may even sing it right by November 17.
The design for The Woman in White is that of William Dudley. His remarkable hybrid of the stage and screen is compelling and enables smooth transition from scene to scene. No longer "on your imaginary forces work... the vasty fields of France." Thanks to Bill, the vasty fields are right before you. There are several times throughout the show I have to open a door on an exact beat in the music and on an exact time in the stage revolve or else the door has passed by and I'm opening a brick wall. Maria was asked to take two steps stage right or her head would appear to be protruding from a horse's backside. Which, oddly enough, is what the cast calls me.
So there you have it. I encourage everyone to see this show. It is like nothing currently running on Broadway, although I'm sure many will try to duplicate it or even try to set it to the music of Duran Duran or Toto.