Like any actor, I was terribly excited to work with David Mamet in his new comedy November. He writes excellent dialogue, but he also does so much work for you. I liked that last part especially. Watching David shape the script in the first four days of rehearsal while I snacked on Vita Waters and Bugles was an eye-opening experience. But while "keeping my eyes open" may seem like a lot of work to amateurs, I decided that as I am a professional actor, I should do "special outside work." Then I would have something to talk about in interviews!
Since I was playing the chief of staff to the President, I called a friend of a friend and got the cell phone number of David Gergen. He had served under several Presidents, real ones, and he had even written a book! I called him three times. Sure, Mr. Gergen didn't call me back, but listening to his voice mail message brought me much closer to feeling what a real chief of staff is all about. I frequently drop his name now to reporters and imply that we had lunch several times at Elaine's.
As David Mamet honed the script and sculpted the part of Archer Brown, I several times commented on what a good job he was doing. Soon Joe Mantello, the director, took over at rehearsals and told me to say everything David had written as fast as possible so as not to get in the way of Nathan Lane, who was playing the part of the President and whose picture was on the front of the Ethel Barrymore Theatre. Jeffrey Richards, the producer of November, told me that my picture will be where the turkey's is one day, but I am not sure when that will be scheduled.
About halfway through the second week of rehearsals, when we had just finished our third tech day, I realized that lo and behold, the character of Archer Brown had entered the building! As an actor, there are few experiences as exciting as when you finally glimpse your character, the part you are playing! As you can imagine, I was as excited as anyone to talk to him, and finally, after we chased each other for several weeks with phone messages and ignored e-mails, he agreed through his representatives to answer my questions in the form of written responses. I decided to hold nothing back! An actor needs to explore the dark spaces of a person, even those not cleaned as often as they should be. Here is the interview:
Me, Dylan Baker, the actor playing Archer Brown: Archer Brown! Are you excited to be on Broadway?
Archer Brown: They promised me I would not be left in a room alone with you. Where is security?
Me: What is David Mamet like?
Archer: Hi! This is an automated out-of-the-office reply. Sorry I missed your call! Try back thru the main switchboard, where you will be redirected to "lunatic control." Thank you! Have a great day!
Me: Is there any current President, like, say, the one we have now, as in, our current President, or should I call him, "that guy in the Oval Office right now who is known by his middle initial," that's like the character played by Nathan Lane, whose picture is in front of the theater?
Archer: All the candidates out there seem like good prospects to follow our current Commander-in-Chief, but which one will make us look back in a few years at George W. Bush and say, "Gee, he wasn't so bad…this one is much worse!" Yes, maybe Hillary will defenestrate the Fed, or perhaps Obama will annex New Guinea, or if only the Huckmeister would outlaw any unchristian thought—but people! This is only wishful thinking! If the USA needs a truly awful candidate, what about Charles H.P. Smith, the lead character in David Mamet's new comedy November!?
Me: OK! Hey, Mr. Fictional Character Man?! It seems like you have "found your voice" here, and ha! Funnily enough, that voice sounds a lot like mine! Hey, it is mine! You are nobody without me, get it?
Archer: Let me tell you, as political operative Archer Brown, I have been at the side of President Chuck Smith for a long time now—they are warming up that cell for the two of us to share for a much longer stretch—and I have no doubts that he is the right man for the times. Remember, no illegal immigrant problem with Chucky: Our economy is so bad, the illegals stop here for coffee and a taco en route to Canada! And Chucky will bring those troops home, or at least he'll pull the plug on that war thingy over there in the desert…no choice! We're out of money!
Me: OK, you just made me spill my Vita Water, jerk. Cut it out!
Archer: So if you are fond of nostalgia like me, bring Charles H.P. Smith back for four more years; your eyes will mist up every morning over the Times, as you think to yourself, "What's ol' W up to?"
This is where I would like to wrap up the story with some pithy, tangy, mellifluous points about my journey in November, but I am just too damn busy. It's not easy being an actor, OK? But I decided to take the time out of my hectic day to jot down these precious tidbits in the hope that this will inspire more young men and women to seek gainful employment in the glamorous world of Broadway! Oh, and do come see Nathan Lane in November, too. He's really funny.