David Javerbaum: Dear Tony Voters...
Television insiders know Cry-Baby songwriter David Javerbaum as the winner of multiple Emmys and Peabody Awards for his work as head writer—and now executive producer—of the hugely popular and influential Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Javerbaum cut his comic teeth on the staff of The Onion and co-authored the parody textbook America The Book, which sold more than 2.5 million copies. But success in TV and print never stopped him from pursuing his passion for musical theater, and now Javerbaum and his collaborator Adam Schlesinger have a Best Score Tony nomination to show for it. Cry-Baby's four Tony nominations including Best Musical surprised a lot of theatrical prognosticators, but the fact is, Javerbaum and Schlesinger have written a score filled with clever and funny songs. Fans can only hope for a cast recording preserving "The Anti-Polio Picnic," though it's even funnier when you see the iron lung sail across the stage of the Marquis Theatre. Broadway.com asked Javerbaum to share his feelings about becoming a first-time Tony nominee—and he responded with a tongue-in-cheek we think! letter to voters.
I was asked by Broadway.com to submit a short essay concerning my recent Tony Award nomination. Upon consultation with my agent, I have decided instead to write a shameless, sniveling little plea to the 795 eligible Tony voters.
Greetings, Tony voters!
You are the 793 smartest, best-looking people in the theater world. Oh, and greetings to you, Fran and Barry.
I'm writing to humbly request your vote in the category of Best Original Score. My partner, Adam Schlesinger, and I are honored to be one of the nominated songwriting teams. Our competition is fierce. Collectively, In the Heights, The Little Mermaid and Passing Strange represent five incredible theater artists with tremendous talent and 53 felony convictions ranging from armed robbery to the unlicensed importation of baby seal meat. Against such opposition, Adam and I and our kennel of abandoned inner-city puppies may seem to have little chance.
1. It is customary for winners to thank their families during their acceptance speeches. However, if given a chance to make such a speech, Adam and I are willing to thank yours.
2. I know many of you are buzzing about the so-called "Latin-infused" songs of In the Heights. Well, excuse me for using my listening ears, but I saw that show, and there wasn't a single word of Latin in the entire score! Quod erat demonstrandum.
3. A special note to the approximately 300 or so "road voters." I understand you're new in town. As it happens, I have 300 spare futons in my apartment, and my wife Deb can cook a mean linguini al trecento elettori di Tony.
4. Cry-Baby refrigerator magnets. Half price. Call me.
5. A special note to our three producers, Adam, Elan and Allan: I know you didn't like that tarantula prank, but that's no reason not to vote for us. Besides, it was Rob Ashford's idea. If anything, don't vote for him.
All my life I have dreamed of hearing a theater luminary open the envelope and mispronounce my name at the Tonys. And on June 15, voters, you will have a chance to make that dream come true, during a telecast that will be seen by literally hundreds of viewers across the country, from Montclair all the way to Dix Hills. Adam and I worked too hard and too long to see the award go to somebody else who also worked very hard and very long, but is not us.
Thank you. By the way, have you lost weight? 'Cause you look great.